| what do you do.... |
[Jun. 15th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | memory #584 | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | DJ Andy B - Branches of evolution | ] | when you love someone so much, it hurts when they're in the other room. When it feels like they're a million miles away, and this all pervasive emptiness falls over you like fog. I can compare it to my earlier times, raving. I would walk down packed stairwells, looking side to side at the barely visible faces and bodies brushing by. Some stacked against one another in ecstatic embraces. Flashing lights. Others hurriedly pushing up, gasping for air from the chaotic dancing below. I would feel an energy rise up from the humid enclosure, base reverberating through my whole body and glints of lasers in the hallway ahead of me. Closer and closer, crowd surfing through to the music that helped me forget all my troubles. So beautiful, so intangible, so real, but only for that moment. I could only hold it for that moment before it would slip away. The fog and haze in the room would apply light pressure on my skin. I'd close my eyes, lift my arms in the air and dance with my face drifting down to the floor. Oh the feelings of happiness. It would spread throughout my body, as song after beautiful song would climax to the mass screaming as one. Moving in unison to this thing that rocked us, an embryotic ocean writhing with life. Tilting my head slightly to the side, eyes barely creeping open, I'd see the strobed lights across all the uplifted hands. So beautiful, what a beautiful sight to see everyone screaming! In ecstacy, passion, love, this POWER. Seeing a single person bringing this experience, bass, bass, more bass... I couldn't stop dancing. That was the only way I could hold on to that feeling, so similar to what I feel with him. What beauty is this, love, music, feeling and movement without restraint or negativity. I could be myself in the world, and it was mine while I spun my lights into dizzying patterns. I would see surrounding dancers fall into step with me. Watch the lights, eyes widening, spinning up, wavering slightly. What a dream, a life filled with this beautiful feeling. A life of loving. God, sometimes I forget who I am. I will never let that be, no matter what happens. |
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